Dear Heart,

Its hard to loose someone, to forget, to ignore and to leave everything behind. There's a times when both of us ware happily in love, the mad coz decease ware never bother us. The downturn here is when we need to reconcile and rethink everything back.

The decision will obviously made us unhappy, but that was the best out of all.

I never regret of leaving you and I hope you too feel the same as I did.

Thank you and all the best in life.

The way you should live

Dear NHT,

Life is very short, but it won't restrict us to achieve what we wanted or our dream. Those who are not willing to take risk is someone who is afraid to live. Risk does not meant chances of failure but it means probability to win. Its sad seeing people giving up before start anything yet and when somebody success by the same method he/she will regret for their entire life. Sad but it's true and it happening in this world.

We are neither Bill Gates nor Mark Zuckerberg to be billionaire at our age now. But that does not mean we can't be one of the billionaires. The point here is to put the dream into action and daring enough to believe in it and make it happen. You no need to run just walking is enough as long you on the right path to the dream.

Sometime no point thinking because it does making you more doubt on what you gonna do. As a result you become more conscious and reluctant to take the risk. These what I'm afraid off that's why you always seeing me do stuff that you could never imagine. All it takes is yourself, you can have many people advising or supporting you but in the end what trigger it to happen is you.

Believe me the way to life is to take part in everything that across your mind.

"Life its awesomely painful, But that's does not mean you can't awesomely enjoy it"

~idoloveu~

ThE quEstiON

It's been 3 months I was thinking that should I do nothing and waiting for you as promised or should I go all out doing everything in my capacity to win you in lame man term being selfish. I really don't know which ways should I follow. Cause it both does reflect my personality. To wait for you is being loyal and keeping the promise. On the other hand try to win your heart is never giving up.

I can't think which one the best not just for me but also to you because it's for both of us. I know past few weeks things just got uncontrollable and I do fuck up. I'm sorry these all beyond my imagination. Think would be better if we do like we were doing for the past 8 months. But I can't change what had happened.

NHT, if think really screw up just remember that my heart would never lie and you always lay in it.

I'm sorry because I love you,

Regard,
~idoloveu~

ThE ApPlE-OrgAniZeD LiAr LoVe StOrY

"You are the apple of my eye"

This story indeed very romantic and comedy that will always made you stay awake for the whole movie till end. Those who coupling will find this movie melting their heart with the romantic act. I'm personally recommending to people to go for this movie. However, the major issue here actually is not about how good the story line, the actors/actress but the end of the story. When the guy knows that the women that he been chasing for ages inviting him to her marriage he accept it and in the end he leave it. I will never be that guy, because I never believe that there's other guy that could love you as much as I did.

NHT, its not that if you get marry I will ruin your wedding. I will never do that and I'm always played it fair and square. Now I still have 7 years to be with you, within this period I will do my very best to be your man. I'm not kind of guy that will let his girl go with somebody else when he's thinking that the girl might be happy with the other guy. I know its very stubborn statement but I have my own thought and the thought is

"JUST GO WITH THE DREAM, IT WILL NEVER STOP UNLESS YOU SAID SO"

To you, NHT

Its been so hard when we apart,
But that the choice we had made,
Though there's chance to be with,
There's no way you will walk with me...

Whether to miss you or not,
Its beyond my control,
To stop thinking about,
I tried it before,
Just remember this...
My every single seconds its all about you...

Every story has their end,
Good or Bad,
Favorable or unfavorable,
Happy or sad,
Its all up to the writer itself,

But for our story,
We still writing it,
Figuring it,
To make it fun,
To appreciate the times,

So, NHT please dont stop writing our love story..not now

~idoloveu~

WoRds fRoM yoU-ShArp LikE A RaMbOo KniFe

Last week broke the promise I made not to contact her due to reason that based on my moral reasoning its allowable to do so, since it will affect me in long term somehow. I have throw all my ego, arrogant and stubbornness to contact her asking her to come join me and all our friend taking picture after convocation. She bravely and directly rejected my offer. I cant force her either but I do notice she did changed in a way good for her to have strong stand on her decision making but that obviously oppose me well.

We been texting and I call her up till the extend she ignoring my call which is very frustrate to me. So she not joining me for the photo session and as a result I dun have any photo with her. However during the call she did said "I give you chance to take pictures with me but you dun want to". This is the time when I rejected her offer to take picture when we took the convo cloth. I guess she's paying back what I did to her and it serve me well. For the very first time I felt regret for what had happen.

The last text message from her
"Please dun msg me again. Thnx! I wil only reply you,
When you thnk i'm your normal friend. Pls! bye bye"

Guess what I reply her?. I really can’t control my emotion that time straight away I reply her.
"I won’t take you as my friend never and ever will"

Silly me but this is my stand "if we could not be together, better not even a friend just pretend we never met!"

The words seem to be very hash on her but deep inside my heart I will always love her that's no one can denied. I just love her with no reason.

I'm sorry, because I love you...

Regard,
-idoloveu-

 

The DaY I'm reGreT MoSt-CoNvo

Convocation to most of people usually will be one of their happiest day in their life. Yes it would but to me I'm regret on that day. Attending convocation to me just to fulfill my promise to mom in fact I have zero attention going there as I know, I will meet her there and it's true I met NHT there. I dun even looking at her nor talk to her. I'm just too arrogant and ego with my self.

Right after the convocation ceremony I wont take long to straight away went back home. Mom did ask me whether want to take photo with friends...I don't want to because seeing her it just make thing worst. I thought it will be okay this way. However after reach home I felt that, I really wanted to meet her for the last time, taking picture together but it all past now. This is where for the first time in my life I'm feeling regret, regret over something that cant be fixed.

This is the part I'm throwing all my ego, promises and self esteem to call her and ask her out this Saturday (22/10/11) to take picture with me and our entire classmate. She's got something on Saturday and Sunday she having her ACCA test. I did argue and begging her, she said "I give you chance but you not there". The sweet talk wont be useful anymore at this rate till to the extend she turn off her phone. Last message she send:

"Now I know how you treat something important to me, I'm not free on Saturday. sorry."

I'm really sorry I did not mean to forcing you but you too never considering anything from me. I'm not asking for the whole day just 1 hour of your Saturday.

We wont meet again after this....I'll be missing you like hell...NHT, I'll keep the promise and waiting for you.

My love only meant for you, take care and live up our dream!

LoNg EnoUGh

Dear Heart,

Today is 1st of Sept'11 3 more days to go and it will be 4 month. To some people it just like clicking eyes but as for me indeed it just a short period but without you its pain like hell, lovely like I'm in Arctic, as a music with no rhyme. To make it simple I just cant live without you, heart.

During Raya celebration some of my aunt did asked me since I have finish my degree when I want to look for GF. Suddenly it struck me I just thinking about you and the promise I made. Just dont have feeling for other woman other than you. I dont know whether you feel the same as me but I really hope so.

One more thing I'm planning to fly overseas if everything according to plan early next year I'll be leaving. With this I might stay around 5 to 7 years overseas. By that time I wont know how much you have change but I just hope that your heart still the same.

All the path I'm planning and taking its all for you to make sure the future awaits is just AWESOME for me and you, NHT

~idoloveu~